Widely regarded as top notch film in everyone’s mind is Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. I can tell you why this movie is great from start: the opening scene is a purely awesome Jason Stathamagical moment.

“ Right, let’s sort the buyers from the spyers, the needy from the greedy, and those ones who trust me from the ones who don’t. Because if you can’t see value here today, your not up here shopping, your up here shop lifting.

You see these goods you’ve never seen daylight, moonlight, Israelite, Fanny-by-the-gas-light. Take a bag, come on take a bag. I took a bag home last night, it cost me a lot more than ten pound, I can tell ya. Anyone like jewelry, look at that one there. Hand made in Italy, hand stolen in Stepney, it’s as long as my arm - I wish it was as long as something else.

Don’t think just cause these boxes are sealed up they’re empty, the only man who sells empty boxes is the undertaker. And by the look of some of you lot here today I’d make more money with my measuring tape. Here one price, ten pound.”

Likely one of the greatest monologues of our time, fueled with the fire of the obvious police chase to follow for sure.

One fellow tries to barter with The Statham. I fully expected him to get a mouthful of fire hose, but instead he gets a mouth full of pure sarcastic wit. “Are you deaf?“. Statham told you 10 pounds, and gave you free instructions on how to walk. Consider yourself lucky.

Of course the silly english police start a chase of The Statham in a short chase. The Statham jumps an IMPOSSIBLE 2×4 barricade to easily escape from the grasps of the law… for this moment at least!

In order to allow the ‘plot’ to work its way through, Statham lays low for the next while. Finally he is served a fruity cocktail. NOT IMPRESSED.

“I asked you to give me a refreshing drink. I wasn’t expecting a fucking rain forest.” The bartender is literally asking to get his face removed by a Statham roundhouse, but luckily for him, Statham resists. If that bartender made that mistake only a few years later with a certain transporter, he’d be in for a world of trouble!

The plot leads to some old fashioned guns, Statham is not impressed with the firearms at hand, but of course will deal.

After a successful heist, Statham and friends decide it is time to celebrate. Lets just say he teaches his buddies a thing or two about how to party appropriately.

Overall Statham Rating: 7 back flips out of 10 (not an average)

Amount of Statham: 6/10.
Statham is a main character in the crew of amateur heisters, but only fills a thin role. He is not allowed to let loose like you know he wanted to… hard. A reasonable amount of Statham but only a few scenes centered on his greatness.

Stathamisms: 8/10.
The writers at least acknowledged that Statham is a man of pure wit and gave him several great Stathamisms, albeit a lack of action by and large. The intro monologue is Statham’s first time on the big screen and may remain to this day his finest non-action moment (of course to be dwarfed by his many moments including entirely way too awesome action later on in his career)

HARD ACTION: 3/10.
While it looks like he is about to flip out at least 2-3 times, he restrains himself, likely bottling it all up to unload in a furry of awesome in the Transporter a few years later.

Next up: Snatch. More back flips to come!